Firstly, let me tackle that word. “Selfie”, who came up with that? Am I the only person who thinks it sounds like a term for pleasuring yourself? I guess in a sense, I am, because it does make me happy to take my “selfies”. I’ll get to why in a second but let me continue ranting on that word for a minute…

Selfie is a relatively new word, to my circles, anyway. Wikipedia says it’s been around since 2002 but I’d say I only started hearing it within the last two years. In the days of MySpace, everyone I knew just called it the typical Myspace photo. I’ve been taking “selfies” long before I’d ever heard that word.

Exhibit A: A photo of me and a step-brother I had for a while back in 2003.

Exhibit B: A terrible photo of me, also circa 2003.

Back then, I didn’t take many photos of myself. I didn’t like who I was, inside or out. I struggled with an addiction to cutting and promiscuity and I was full of rage and sadness. Most pictures of me were not smiling and instead revealed a sad, droopy-eyed girl with hatred in her eyes.

As I started to finally, but slowly, grow as a person and love myself in and out, I started to get in front of the camera more. For a while, baring too much to the world as if I had something to prove. I wasn’t this ugly thing that I and [seemingly] the rest of the world had made me out to be.

When my mind and my soul finally took that turn of happiness in my life, I wanted to share it. As I discussed in my positivity on Facebook post, I love to share the good things. When I feel beautiful, I consider that a good thing! Being a stay-at-home mom, this picture floating around on social media describes me pretty well:

Most days, I’m in a ponytail and glasses, sweating because I’m either soaking in my son’s body heat holding him or I’m running around trying to get things clean and organized. My clothes aren’t the most fashionable because I’m saving the “good stuff” for when I’m leaving the house, and I’m not bothering to waste makeup (which is really expensive, even “cheap” makeup!) when nobody is going to see me and the only time I’m glancing in a mirror is as I’m washing off any toothpaste gunk or fingerprints the kids left behind.

If I took the time to look nice, people are going to see it! No but really, I feel gorgeous. For the same reasons I want to share that the kids are being adorable or my date night was really fun, I want to share with you how beautiful I feel. However, contrary to something I read about selfies, I don’t measure my self-worth in “Likes”, whether it’s a status update or a selfie photo. I’m just sharing to share, like the rest of us do. Actually, I don’t understand why we’re always trying to make people feel bad about what they like to do. Yeah, I like to take selfies and I’m not ashamed!

My most recent selfie, I was excited and on my way to see an aunt I hadn’t seen in a couple of years and work-out for the first time in…ever. The look on the outside reflected the feelings on the inside and even a good friend who knows me pretty well, commented “Happy girl :D”:

Now everybody has their preferences on what they like to see on Facebook and guess what? I LOVE to see selfies! To me, selfies mean you’re feeling good and I love to see people feeling good! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “Look at me, I look terrible and life sucks” selfie. Maybe they’re out there but I don’t know anyone like that. Instead, I see selfies from a girl I knew in high school who lost over a hundred pounds and looks stunning. I see them from moms I know who are so happy and busy and in love with their lives and single women my age who are just living it up with their friends. I see selfies people take with their husbands, their dogs, with their best friend at the beach and with their kids at the ice cream shoppe and in front of a funny sign or driving to work. And that’s just in my own feed.

I take selfies because I’m happy, not to become happy. I love to capture my favorite moments with a camera and that includes myself. A photo may only capture the external emotion but I know when I look at pictures I’ve taken, I can recall that time in my life. I love seeing how my pictures have changed over time. In some I appear to have dead eyes and a scowl, in others I look sad, and in more recent ones…smiles galore. Showing off new hairstyles, the time I tried a cigar, hanging out with my best friend or my mom, sporting a new tattoo, holding a snake, or even just the bored ones where I was sitting in a car and thought “why not?”. Sometimes I go into my bathroom and catch a glimpse of myself, even on a mildly disheveled day, and say out loud “I look so cute!” and I snap a photo to remember it. I have selfies that I’ve never posted, I’ve just saved because I thought they were cute and I like to look back on them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is give selfie-takers a break. In a society where everybody hates how they look, having the self-esteem to share is a good thing. If there are people out there who aren’t happy and they’re sharing, it’s a pretty bold move and hey, maybe your “Likes” will help. For those who are phishing for compliments, what can it hurt to pass along a “Your new outfit looks lovely” or “Your eyes are mesmerizing”? But hey, if you have to “Unfollow” because somebody’s self-love is filling up your feed, then that’s an option too.

Love yourself, it’s so important! Others can’t love you until you love you. Trust me.