What is an Ideal Friend?

This post brought to you by the awesome ideas on SITS writing prompts. I think often about what an ideal friend is because I try so hard to be this for all of my friends. The definition of an ideal friend changing over time, I think. As a child, the ideal friend is another kid who lets you be the baby sometimes when you’re playing house and likes some of the same things you do.

As a teenager, an ideal friend is the one who’s going to be there for you through the thick and the thin. She (or he!) is there when your boyfriend breaks up with you, you need someone to go roller-skating with on Friday night, and when you’re stuck going on an otherwise boring vacation. You’ve got inside jokes and can make nearly anything into a good and hilarious time.

When you’re an adult with a husband and kids, I think the ideal friend changes the most. They can be there whenever you need them for the important things, like crazy stress or a marital disagreement you need to vent about. At the same time, they know that if you get too busy to call and say “hello” for a while, it’s okay. The minute you do get in contact with each other again, things will pick up and be as hilarious and interesting as always. The love never falters and you love them like you love a sibling.



Friendship completely varies from friend to friend but I have at least several friends who live up to the definition of an ‘ideal friend’. My best friend Erica, I love her. I’ve talked about her before, she’s the blogger over at Secondary Soul (I recommend following her because she makes gorgeous things and she’s my go-to makeup gal)! We have our inside jokes, like the catfish. If there’s an issue in the other’s life, we are the first to know about and the first to offer support and help. She can always make me laugh and she’s full of positive things to say…unless I’m angry at someone, to which she’ll reply something like, “Do you need me to come there and beat them with a bag of dog poop?” Her favorite things to joke about are poop and farts, by the way.

She’s a special kind of awesome that I’m beyond thankful for. She’s so dependable and supportive as a friend that sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t kidnap her and move her here. Oh, did I forget to mention that? She doesn’t live here and we’ve never met. We’ve been friends for about seven years but got closer when we were pregnant with our second kids over five years ago. I always know how lucky I am to have her but then there are moments that I could cry because of what a perfect friend she is, like when I was falling asleep trying to drive home from the drive-in at 2am and needed to talk to her to help me stay awake. We’re both night owls and she didn’t even flinch, of course she would talk to me late at night because I needed her. With the kids and our daily life, we could go a week or two without talking much and not a single problem arises. We get each other. We love each other. I can’t think of a time I’ve ever even been mad at her or her vice versa. There was this one time that I called her immediately after an online discussion on feminism, just to be sure she wasn’t mad at me, but we were fine. Our political and religious opinions are often a bit differing but we always agree to disagree or often understand where the other is coming from. That’s friendship. Erica is a sister to me and I seriously could not possibly ask for better. We’re hoping to save up to finally meet each other this year and even though I’m not a big hugger, I may hug her and never let go. The airport greeting will be a sight to see.


Everybody refers to my best friend, Jon-Paul, as my “brother from another mother”. We’ve been friends for over ten years. He’s not married nor does he have kids yet. He says he doesn’t want them but he seems to love mine an awful lot. My kids love him almost as much as I do. JP has cerebral palsy and uses a pretty sweet wheelchair that lets him stand up. When we hang out, we mainly go to malls because it’s easier to maneuver than the steps to my itty bitty house. Like with my friend Erica, most of our friendship is over the phone. We’re into a lot of the same television shows and we both enjoy a good intellectual conversation/debate. He will call or text me for advice on his love life and I’ll make sure I’m positive and encouraging but always honest too. I think that’s so important in a friend and he trusts me to do that. We’re always there when the other needs us and we know each other pretty well. I love my brother from another mother!

I try hard to be available whenever I get a troublesome text from a friend. I’ve received friend emergency texts while I’m out on Halloween or my birthday, and I answer and try to help in any way I can. I am careful not to retract from my family time but I don’t ignore my friends either. I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy recently where they said that a good friend will “pause” relations with their partner if they receive a “911” text from a friend but I’d say that’s going a little too far. I won’t do something like that and I surely don’t expect anyone to do that for me. You’ve gotta live your life too! I think the ideal friendship fits perfectly into your life. It is understanding and support, it is love and caring.

1 thought on “What is an Ideal Friend?

  1. As we get older, our definition of friend changes, and that’s ok. People we thought of as friends are really acquaintances/associates. When I think of friend, I think of someone who’s like family to me. They know what’s up even if I don’t share, and vice versa.

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