If a man is unhappy in his relationship, he may say things like, “It’s cheaper to keep her.” If a woman is unhappy, well, Jeff Foxworthy said it best, “Rule number one, if she ain’t happy. You ain’t happy. And if she ain’t happy long enough. You’re gonna be unhappy with half your stuff.” Let’s be honest. There are a lot of relationships in the world that could use some work. If a relationship is going to recover, or continue going strong, it’s going to take some work from both parties. It is what it is. Let’s go down the road of happiness, shall we? After all, “Happy wife, happy life.” The happier one is, the happier everyone in the house will be, and we have the greatest effect on the person we love. This list of things will help you down the path of brightening her day.

1) Leave her notes around the house. This is something out from left field, but it’s always a nice thing to find. Example, if she makes sandwiches for you, or for your kids for school, you have an obvious spot she’s going to go. So grab a post it note, scribble down a line from a song, or a simple I love you, and stick it to the peanut butter. Then when she grabs it, she’ll see it and smile. Get creative with your notes!

2) Pick up special stuff while you’re out. I felt bad for one of my buddies at my vow renewal. Ok, I didn’t, but there was definitely a cute moment. We had cupcakes from Simply Sweet cupcakes in Egg Harbor City. They won a competition on a TV show called “Cupcake Wars.” They make exquisitely delicious gourmet cupcakes. So when the topic of cupcakes came up at the vow renewal, I mentioned that I try to pick her up some every time I pass through there. That illicited a smack upside my buddy’s head, cause he apparently doesn’t do that.

And then to make things worse, he brought up how I stop by a Godiva store and get my wife chocolates whenever I work by the Tropicana Casino. When he got a smack upside the head for that one, I laughed. He did it to himself.

Now granted, those can get expensive, but there are other things you can do. When I’m at a grocery store, I’ll pick up a box of Zours, or Swedish Fish, or whatever for a dollar. She loves them, but more importantly, it lets her know I’m thinking about her throughout the day.

3) Next on the list is to help around the house. In my house, everyone has chores, even the kids. Some have longer lists than others. There is enough work for everyone though, and let’s be honest, a lot of men don’t cook. They should though. I know when the summer comes around, it’s a guy task to fire up the grill and throw on the steaks. When the weather cools down, so does the grill. It’s important to have a few meals under your belt for the family. It keeps some of the weight off her shoulders, and helping with her burden will help your relationship in the long run.

But don’t stop there! I know when I cook, the first thing I do is clear the sink. It’s often one of the things that has to happen after dinner too. A lot of times, I’ll judge the dinner I’m going to cook by the mess that is going to be made. If it’s not worth it, I’ll shift to something easier. So if your wife is the cook, step up to the sink and handle the cleanup. It’s something my grandfather did for his wife, and they were married for over 60 years. Trust me, it pays dividends.

4) Remember the little things on the honey do list. Knock them out, and don’t tell her you did it! Recently my wife went to Hersheypark with the kids. I had the house to myself. That’s when I flipped through the rolodex of ‘James stuff’ and picked out some small items. Changing an extra light bulb, fixing a switch face plate, etc. Don’t point it out to her though, because the moment you do that, you lose the ‘special’ moment. She’ll think, or feel, like you’re looking for a pat on the back.

5) Sometimes when my wife is feeling the stress of the day, I’ll take the kids out to the park. This one is a win-win on several fronts as it strengths the father-child bonds, and it gives her a break. That may be the moment she catches up on a good book, takes a long bath, or whatever. Point is, she gets to relax, and that’s a good thing.

6) Let her sleep in. Whether you both work, or she’s a stay at home mom, parenting never stops. Life goes on. The hamsters on the wheel keep on sprinting because if they don’t, they’ll flip over and over and fall out! Let her rest every so often. She’ll do the same for you, and sleep… it does a body good.

7) Car maintenance often falls under ‘guy tasks.’ It doesn’t matter if it’s registering the car, getting the oil changed, or changing a tire.  There is also something really subtle  to show you care, and it’s also one of the easiest ways to say ‘I love you.’  Make sure her gas tank is full.  That when she has to run the kids to the doctor, or run out to get something… it’s one less thing on her mind.

These are just some of the ways you can tell her she’s special, and brighten her day. If you look over the list, you’ll see the number one thing it will cost you is… time. Time. That’s it. Give her your TIME! We can shower a woman with gifts, but that leads to superficial love. We can rock her world in the bedroom, but that’s just physical touch. If you really want to have a strong relationship, and find true love, you need to know her. You need to know her inside and out, and that takes time.

So what are some other ways you can tell her you love her? Leave a comment. Trust me, even I need pointers from time to time.