“Oh, my house is definitely cleaner than yours,” she said as she looked me dead in the eye without even a crack of a smile. She was inviting me to her home spontaneously and said the usual, “don’t mind my messy home” thing many people do. I told her, “No big deal, mine is too!” to make her feel better and her response has spun around my brain for over two years. It got under my skin. Was her house cleaner than mine? Was my house such a mess that it elicited that kind of immediate response? I didn’t want my house to be messy but I felt like I was drowning for years…until last year.
Last year, I made the commitment to start getting my life organized. A year later, I’m so happy with the state of my home that I can invite people over without notice. When they get through the door, there may be a few things to take care of but it’s nothing that stresses me out. That was the type of goal I’d had in mind and I’m there and it feels amazing.
But as with anything else, goals vary depending upon the person and their situation. Right now, everyone on Netflix is watching Marie Kondo “Tidying Up” the homes of others. Some people feel inspired and I think that’s awesome so I sat down to check it out myself. After all, after reading The Real Simple Method to Organizing Every Room And How to Keep It That Way, I made some wonderful changes myself. Their concept is not the same as Marie’s, however.
Marie Kondo discusses in “Tidying Up” how items should bring you joy or else you thank them and gently toss them in a discard pile. I feel like that may work for some things but so many items are just a means to an end in our daily lives and I certainly wouldn’t call them ‘joy’ but I appreciate the concept. I do giggle at the idea of thanking my discarded clutter though. Her cleaning style is not necessarily for me but I’m thrilled if it helps people get their homes the way that they want them.
My sole purpose for writing this post is actually to ask you if the way that you want your home is realistic? Are you seeing catalogs and pristine white photos on mom blogs and expecting your home with three kids not to look lived in? It can be done but it may be at the expense of other things that do bring joy. I’ve noticed people feeling pressured and stressed to create this perfection in their living space.
I believe in having a certain level of organization in your home because it lessens the chaos. If you’re tripping over toys, you’re guaranteed to be angry. If you can’t find your keys in the morning and everybody has to stop what they’re doing to help you look, making them all late too, that’s miserable. It’s unpleasant to wait for a meal because you’ve got to wash everyone some clean dishes first. The thing about all of it though is asking yourself what you’re okay with. If you don’t mind that the clothes in your drawer unfold when you go rifling through, who cares? If you’ve chosen not to spend your time labeling a pantry, why do you feel compelled to start now?
If you feel inspired, great! If you feel judged and obligated to do these things because potentially all of the other moms are? Don’t! Every stay at home mom in America, for example, is not cooking, scrubbing, mopping, and folding all day. Some of us have hobbies, some of us homeschool, some of us are on the floor getting check-ups from our toddler doctors and just trying to make the memories before the time slips away. The moms who are scrubbing and getting on the (now very clean!) floor might be better at budgeting their time than you. And that’s okay. They might be getting less sleep or skipping meals. They might not be happy either, who knows. Everything I just said is about a mom who isn’t you and that’s the thing, that’s the ONLY thing. You need to focus on you and your family, not whether or not Susie down the street keeps an impeccable home after coming home from her job as a molecular biologist and doing a science fair project with Timmy plus making the best homemade pizza you’ve ever pinned. No. First of all, pretty much nobody is living that perfect “Leave it to Beaver” life. Second of all, not a single one of her life’s details should affect yours.
If you’re going to think about joy, I mean really focus on joy, I want you to sit down and just ponder what a joyous life means to you. If it means having a key rack in the entryway to lessen delays caused by lost keys, spend $10 and hammer it in. If it means taking some time away from the washing machine to attend a mommy group gathering, get in the car. Your lifestyle is entirely up to you and what you prioritize. I believe that if you truly want something to happen, something that will increase your happiness, you’ll make time for it.
The bottom line is: Do what makes sense for your life, it’s yours and no one else’s. Do things at your own pace and try not to compare yourself. Choose joy, whatever that means for you!
Keep an eye out for part two of this post where I will go into more detail about which ways I got organized, how I managed, and what helped me!
Do you like to get organized? What are your areas of preference?
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