It’s Not Pretending

I have seen so many memes, articles, jokes, and references to positive Facebook statuses being just a way to brag and fake like your life is the best and it drives me crazy. My original caption when I shared a blog mentioning this was:

“While I do post my meltdowns from time-to-time, I often hear people complain about people who “pretend their lives are so happy” but the way I see it, they’re just focusing on the positive. I knew someone who used to post “kids for sale” and “my life sucks” posts all the time and it was obnoxious and depressing. I don’t know if anyone has ever noticed but after I’ve posted a meltdown post, 99% of the time I delete it because really, who needs that bad energy on their page? You got it out, maybe got some advice, hopefully you feel better. I don’t think anybody who doesn’t post about explosive diarrhea is deliberately concealing anything and I never really compare myself to them when I’m going through something because most people don’t want to air their dirty laundry and I’m pretty thankful for that because it would be one hell of a depressing Facebook feed. I dig the positivity of you posting pictures of your baby taking his first steps and I know already that he probably fell 47 times but I know that’s life and I’m not overanalyzing or comparing and I know how to be realistic without needing to see it. Please assume that when I post that my kids are “making cards for the homeless” I yelled at them for fighting over crayons 52 times.

So I say, let’s keep our social media as positive as possible. We all have our own issues and we come here to get away, not pile on everybody else’s issues.”

But to elaborate on it even further, why do you need to hear about the icky junk happening to other people? I’m reminded of a scene in The Wedding Singer where someone brings up the fact that his fiancee left him at the altar and he replies, “Hey, my parents died when I was ten, would you like to talk about that?” I mean, who really wants to chat about the miserable things (besides everyone in society). I know I certainly prefer to see engagements rather than break-ups in my feed.

Even if someone is pretending, what in the world is wrong with that? Have you ever heard the phrase “fake it ’til you make it”? That’s a real thing! Laughter improves your emotions scientifically but even just thinking logically it makes sense that repetition of anything is going to affect you. (Mind you I’m not talking actual depression, see a doctor!) So if you’re constantly having to be positive so that you can pretend, you’re going to start thinking it and feeling it!

I don’t think people are usually intending to brag, either. I think we’re just a society of sharing. I want to tell you how nice it was that I got to swing on the playground in beautiful weather today, singing along to music I love but I’d rather not include that I had to repeatedly ask the kids to leave me in peace so I could have a few short minutes of relaxation. If you were telling your significant other how excited you were for your date night, you wouldn’t say, “oh I can’t wait until I hit traffic on the way home, flip off that guy who cut me off, get in barely in time to shower but just enough so I can shave my stubbly legs, then beg the kids to stop crying so the babysitter won’t text us to come home halfway through our mediocre meal where the waitress keeps passing over us when we need a drink refill.” I would refer to that as Too Much Information! And you know why? Because at the base of it all, you still had fun. And if you didn’t, well, you’re looking at it wrong. Try my point of view where you focus on the haves instead of the not, the basics instead of the details. You were in good company, you got a break. You didn’t die from food poisoning and eventually you got your refills.

I could just speak in cliches until you understood me. Fake it til you make it. Expect less, gain more. Appreciate what you have. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Actually I have no idea what the last one means but it sounds like something profound.

The bottom line is… it’s okay if the people around you look happy, whether they are or not. It’s not about you, I promise. And your life isn’t about them either, so stop comparing yourself to others and get out there and live. Share your rose-colored glasses view of your life, whether you see it that way or it’s filtered, and eventually, it’s going to look that way to you too.

A chick with plenty of problems who really and truly is happy with her flawed life and only shares the parts that matter to her 🙂

4 thoughts on “It’s Not Pretending

  1. I agree with this article 100%. Life is to short to be anything but happy and it’s important to share your experiences with people by posting them on social media but not over doing it. And to those who constantly are complaining on social media quit it!

    1. I have my moments where I’ll be like “Ugh, what an annoying day because X” but there are people who seem to have nothing positive to say and I have to hide them. It brings me down!

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